Ah Group D where we are sure to find free condoms and a few machetes at the world cup and as always a few expectations that will collapse to the grounds, faster then I can say You're with me Leather. Group D is full of surprises and epic failures, you have Mexico, Portugal, Iran and that little African nation known as Angola, which by the way have the best flap of the world cup. Any flag that can have the following descripition will automatically win in my books: "A golden star, part of a cog wheel and a machete is centered. That symbol is said to be inspired by the hammer and sickle, and represents industrial and agricultural workers. Yellow is symbolic of the country's mineral wealth, and red and black are said to stand for "Freedom or Death". With this is mind, let's go and see what each country has too offer, will they all fight for freedom, or will they all mess up and die and have another epic failure.
Angola aka Colonizational Revenge
Yup that's right, after beating out Nigeria to qualify for the world cup, they've managed to get into the perfect group for themselves, they get to go after those slavery pundits from Portugal. Sure Angola was colonized by Portugal when Portugal actually had land and the sea (now they are just stuck surrounded by Spain). But you need to remember that people don't forget who was in charge of them previously, it's alot like Darko playing the Pistons, sure they screwed him over and he might not become as good as everyone first thought, but it doesn't mean his A game is brought to them when he does play them. So this is why the June 11th match of Portugal vs Angola is a biggie, considering that Angola is playing in one of the weaker groups. Yes Portugal and Mexico are top quality football programs, they do have a tendency to start really slow, eh Portugal, must I remind you of greece.Akwa and Mantorras will be expected to put the ball in the goal, and it will needed to be done often with the way the Angolian defense has been playing lately. Yes you beat a bunch of German stiffs 5-3, reminder you still let in 3 goals, ah well I just can't wait to watch them play.
Iran aka nuclear warfare tactics
Have they been kicked out of the tournament yet, I just keeping waiting for it to happen, considering a bunch of UEFA teams have been trying really hard to get rid of them. Also don't expect and Red Light district for these boys, they won't be seeing and woman flesh until they find a way to make it to Canada and get through the easy immigration laws. Yes that's right I said it, Canadian immigration is pretty lax, but so is gaining diplomatic immunity as well and since i'm feeling really good right now, so is making the bomb, or nuclear weapons, everyone has such great success with it, too bad they are useless since no one will use them anytime soon. As for the Iran soccer team they will be busy attempting to survive the rigors of playing without woman, or more for the fact trying not to choke on any large objects at the world cup. Okay so they've won the Asian Cup a number of times, and were first in their division to qualify for the worldcup, but we all know that when they come to this tournament they get beaten up like a Saudi Arabian sidekick. Yes expect to see a couple 5-0 games when they play, may I mention that it won't be them doing the scoring.
Mexico aka the maya empire
Ah bring on the Mexicans and all the dirty mexican jokes that come with it. If I lived in the States i could use the whole immigration problem, but frankly it's not a problem here in Canada, we invite everyone in to take over our jobs, our schools and just about anything that no one wishes to work except garbage men, they always seem to be white. Now I disgress to soccer, the Mexicans have played alot of friendlies lately, and only have lost recently to France in a 1-0 dull affair somewhere in Paris. But really this Mexican team seems to enjoy 1-0 affairs, as they don't really have that much scoring power, while they do have the powerhouse in Borgetti, they do not have much else which may be a problem for them later on in rounds. As for the opening round, getting by 1-0 each game should work. It will be an interesting match when they play Portugal as that will probobly decide who plays the winner of Group C and second place of Group C.
Portugal aka long greasy slave trading hair
Ah yes, the Portuguese people, wonderful folk, wonderful at soccer, wonderful at blowing up in a world cup and not getting out of the first round. Yes those guys, the USA is all dissapointed that they don't get to play them, like they did 4 years ago. But that's a whole other world cup and story. Portugal for the last 16 years, have been thought as a team that could go a long way, with the golden years almost behind them now, Figo, Pauleta and Ricardo all getting long in the tooth, the expectation is that this may be the last run for the boys. With the success of Euro 2004 and a very good qualifying effort, it could be expected that this may be there best chance yet to host the trophy in Munich, but then again when has Portugal ever made things easy for themselves, they had a chance to win Euro, and managed to blow it to Greece, twice. Anyways, expect to see there open offensive style of football at this worldcup, I pray to god that Deco doesn't destroy the Dutch hopes in the second round, or I may just lose it and remove all the furniture out of my room, through the window.
I leave you now with what many think is the greatest soccer ref of all time, sometimes I can't agree more
And just for entertainment purposes, this is what happens in a Portuguese soccer dressing room.
Predictions
1. Portugal
2. Mexico
3. Angola
4. Iran
Monday, May 29, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
World Cup Group C
Greeting to the group of death,
Yes it's time to publish my thoughts on what my beloved Dutch could do and yes I'm taking a realistic approach to it. They got put in what alot of people are calling the group of death, or what I call the Germans way of trying to screw us over. But don't worry you haven't, if anything most Dutch fans are happy with the group as it has a little bit of everything and means they will have to play well in qualifying which can only bold well if we get through to the next round. So with alot of fanfare and some worriness let's go through each of the teams.
Argentina aka Brazil's bitch
Here we come from the southern part of south america, we travel all the way to Europe in hopes to find a way to win it all and be able to make fun of Brazil. Yes they are the 4th ranked team in the world, and in my honest opinion they should be ranked higher, and yes I truly like there team and am always scared to play them. That being said, I do believe the June 21st match versus Holland will determine which of the 2 teams will qualify for the next round. Firstly let's go over the history, and there is alot. Holland lost to them in the world cup in 1978, which we will remind everyone were the golden years of soccer. But we got our revenge 20 years later with probobly the best Dutch goal scored in world cup history and bounced them from the tournament. (to see goal click here). Also I'm happy to report Argentina fans already want to fire Jose Pekerman for some of the picks he made going into the world cup. Not picking Zanetti in alot of people's eyes is a big mistake, mine included. So here is where the problem lies for Argentina, they have a good midfield with Juan Roman Riquelme and Esteban Cambiasso lead the way. They have an excellent offense with Hernan Crespo and young superstar Lionel Messi. Then they have a pourous defense, and an okay keeper. And this is why I don't see them getting through, they will score and be scored on, and will have to learn how to get through Serbia and Montenegro's defense. Moving on...
Holland aka Clogs Central
Well since I've already made a huge post, I might as well go on a bit about the Dutch squad, who thankfully are keep cooler heads right now. They are playing like a team and this is because Van Basten is making the younger generation believe, his ability to deflect attention from the team and keep there heads straight so far has been very refreshing, also his ability to make the tough choices, like choicing Babel instead of Huntleer make me feel better. So expect the Dutch to go into a 3-4-3 formation. With Kujt and Robben on the wings and Ruud at center. The midfield will be Cocu at the back, Van Bommel, Van Der Vaart and Landzaat. With the defense as Gio, Boulahrouz and Jaliens. Don't be surprised to see him change to a 4-3-3 depending on how the friendlies go this week. The problem with hoping that Holland will get first and have an easy time with the group is that they won't do anything the easy way. They will screw up the first game, everyone will panic and they will just squeak through in time to get to the next round, forcing the usual high strung Dutch fans to not have to jump of buildings because there team didn't qualify.
Ivory Coast aka awwwww SHIT
Ah yes Ivory Coast and Didier Drogba central, yes the all important African striker has gotten himself and his team in quite a pickle with the group they are in. If you had looked at all the African teams this year, this would have been the team most people thought would go through to the Round of 16, instead, well shit son it looks like they will be hard pressed to get a win. But yes, they could always be the giant sleeper if they get taking lightly by the big 2 in Holland and Argentina, it shall be very interesting to see how Argentina does against them in the first game on June 11th, if they get a tie or win they have hope, because if that happens Argentina will be a sinking ship. But they will need to beat the Serbs, or score a goal against them if they do infact wish to bring African pride to this world cup.
Serbia and Montenegro aka Screw it we wish to be single named
Yes that's right, you have split up, and right in time for world cup time. But as much as I would like to think this might stop your Iron Clad defense (DRAGUTINOVIC, VIDIC, GAVRANCIC and KRSTAJIC.) I know in the end it won't sadly. This team looks very strong, with the fact they only let one goal in during the qualification stage and that was to Spain in Spain. Otherwise it was alot of 0-0 affairs for them. The way this team works is alot like Italy, put 9 guys in the box, get the ball out and counter attack using the explosive Kezman to hopefully win a game 1-0. It won't be pretty soccer, but then in the end the only pretty thing the S&M have are the number of fantastically beautiful woman they have coming out of there, cause it for sure ain't the men.
Predictions
1. S&M (they will squeak out with 7 points)
2. Holland (we find a way to screw the Argies)
3. Argentina (fire manager)
4. Ivory Coast (2010 hopefully)
Yes it's time to publish my thoughts on what my beloved Dutch could do and yes I'm taking a realistic approach to it. They got put in what alot of people are calling the group of death, or what I call the Germans way of trying to screw us over. But don't worry you haven't, if anything most Dutch fans are happy with the group as it has a little bit of everything and means they will have to play well in qualifying which can only bold well if we get through to the next round. So with alot of fanfare and some worriness let's go through each of the teams.
Argentina aka Brazil's bitch
Here we come from the southern part of south america, we travel all the way to Europe in hopes to find a way to win it all and be able to make fun of Brazil. Yes they are the 4th ranked team in the world, and in my honest opinion they should be ranked higher, and yes I truly like there team and am always scared to play them. That being said, I do believe the June 21st match versus Holland will determine which of the 2 teams will qualify for the next round. Firstly let's go over the history, and there is alot. Holland lost to them in the world cup in 1978, which we will remind everyone were the golden years of soccer. But we got our revenge 20 years later with probobly the best Dutch goal scored in world cup history and bounced them from the tournament. (to see goal click here). Also I'm happy to report Argentina fans already want to fire Jose Pekerman for some of the picks he made going into the world cup. Not picking Zanetti in alot of people's eyes is a big mistake, mine included. So here is where the problem lies for Argentina, they have a good midfield with Juan Roman Riquelme and Esteban Cambiasso lead the way. They have an excellent offense with Hernan Crespo and young superstar Lionel Messi. Then they have a pourous defense, and an okay keeper. And this is why I don't see them getting through, they will score and be scored on, and will have to learn how to get through Serbia and Montenegro's defense. Moving on...
Holland aka Clogs Central
Well since I've already made a huge post, I might as well go on a bit about the Dutch squad, who thankfully are keep cooler heads right now. They are playing like a team and this is because Van Basten is making the younger generation believe, his ability to deflect attention from the team and keep there heads straight so far has been very refreshing, also his ability to make the tough choices, like choicing Babel instead of Huntleer make me feel better. So expect the Dutch to go into a 3-4-3 formation. With Kujt and Robben on the wings and Ruud at center. The midfield will be Cocu at the back, Van Bommel, Van Der Vaart and Landzaat. With the defense as Gio, Boulahrouz and Jaliens. Don't be surprised to see him change to a 4-3-3 depending on how the friendlies go this week. The problem with hoping that Holland will get first and have an easy time with the group is that they won't do anything the easy way. They will screw up the first game, everyone will panic and they will just squeak through in time to get to the next round, forcing the usual high strung Dutch fans to not have to jump of buildings because there team didn't qualify.
Ivory Coast aka awwwww SHIT
Ah yes Ivory Coast and Didier Drogba central, yes the all important African striker has gotten himself and his team in quite a pickle with the group they are in. If you had looked at all the African teams this year, this would have been the team most people thought would go through to the Round of 16, instead, well shit son it looks like they will be hard pressed to get a win. But yes, they could always be the giant sleeper if they get taking lightly by the big 2 in Holland and Argentina, it shall be very interesting to see how Argentina does against them in the first game on June 11th, if they get a tie or win they have hope, because if that happens Argentina will be a sinking ship. But they will need to beat the Serbs, or score a goal against them if they do infact wish to bring African pride to this world cup.
Serbia and Montenegro aka Screw it we wish to be single named
Yes that's right, you have split up, and right in time for world cup time. But as much as I would like to think this might stop your Iron Clad defense (DRAGUTINOVIC, VIDIC, GAVRANCIC and KRSTAJIC.) I know in the end it won't sadly. This team looks very strong, with the fact they only let one goal in during the qualification stage and that was to Spain in Spain. Otherwise it was alot of 0-0 affairs for them. The way this team works is alot like Italy, put 9 guys in the box, get the ball out and counter attack using the explosive Kezman to hopefully win a game 1-0. It won't be pretty soccer, but then in the end the only pretty thing the S&M have are the number of fantastically beautiful woman they have coming out of there, cause it for sure ain't the men.
Predictions
1. S&M (they will squeak out with 7 points)
2. Holland (we find a way to screw the Argies)
3. Argentina (fire manager)
4. Ivory Coast (2010 hopefully)
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
World Cup Group B
Two World War and One World Cup, dodaa, do daa, Two World Wars and One World Cup. Ah yes must be Group B, and England must be involved.
So without furthur ado, we must give the floor to some classy english chants
If it wasn't for the english you'd be krauts. If it wasn't for the english you'd be krauts. If it wasn't for the english, wasn't for the english, wasn't for the english, you'd be krauts.
RULE BRITANNIA! BRITANNIA RULES THE WAVES! BRITONS NEVER EVER EVER WILL BE SLAVES!
sigh I digress, just couldn't help myself there, it's just nice and ironic that firstly england is playing in german and secondly they are spending alot of time reminding english fans what they can and cannot do in germany. Clearly I think Germany is just expecting to end up playing England and after the mess that they will have to clean up with Poland they are trying to shed away the violence.
In other news we are talking about group B, and well I guess I should get going on that one. So here's go another hopefully predictable post, that predicts correctly.
England aka Embrace the world by starting a riot
Ah the english, well time to see how well they fail again this year, with the absence of Owen and Rooney, or the fact that they won't be 100% yet, Sven is going to have to rely on lanky, Darko like Peter Crouch to score the goals, unless he moves Gerrard up which is specualted. Anyways anyway you look at it, the England team looks solid. With pylons like Rio and Sol at the back, it will take more than a truck to move them out. And yes expect to see the English in either a 5-4-1 or a 4-5-1, so basically Italy soccer at it's finest. I"m pretty sure right about now I've offended everyone that could possibly be reading this post. So I'll just stop right there and say, well the English are good, but they will find a way to screw up, may the soccer riots prevail.
Paraguay aka Hoping for Santa to be okay
Ummm, yes, injuries to your star striker, that seems to be a regular thing in this group, and in Paraguay's point of view they are no exception to the problem. Hopefully Santa Cruz will be ready, and not having knee troubles like he has been lately. Though the Paraguain's did qualify in 4th place in the always tough South American tryouts, don't expect too much from this team with out there star striker, they could sneak a win over England or Sweden, but otherwise I don't know if I can rely on them to pull up an uber upset, ah well, just glad to be there, it's not like Canada is.
Trinidad & Tobago aka it's an island party
The only team from a small island, and the smallest population to qualify for the world cup, and no Japan doesn't count, while this is great news I'm still mad at them. You ask why, simple they beat out Bahrain to qualify, all I wanted was to see Bahrain merchandise being sold for the world cup, now I'm left with TnT. Which means I must post the TNT video by AC/DC to enjoy seeing them in the world cup.
Ah now that makes me feel better, now this is the first time for them to qualify for the world cup and hopefully they can put up a good showing, I suspect they will be a bundle of nerves in there opening game, but hopefully Stern and Yorke can score a few goals so that the island nation can party like never before.
Sweden aka Sven's pocket rockets
Yes that's right, Sven is done in England and well he gets to play his home nation in the world cup, and that has never ended well for England. So luck is out and about that I shall expect to see a usual impressive performance this time around. Anyways if we have to talk about Sweden, we need to talk about Zlatan Ibrahimovic and the fact that this guy can do things with gum that I can't even do with a freaking soccer ball. Watch the said video from Nike and you will understand.
Need I say anything more, I think not, basically it's sick. The Swedes, who got beat out in Euro 2004 by the Dutch in PK's (I had to put it in somewhere), will be looking to bring there Ikea brand soccer everywhere, that means that the yellow and blue shirts will be out, and hopefully a few viking helmets as well. But yes the Swedes will be troublesome and fearsome, but well in the end, they have a few defensive liabilities to worry about first.
My Predictions
1. Sweden
2. England
3. Paraguay
4. Trinidad and Tobago
So without furthur ado, we must give the floor to some classy english chants
If it wasn't for the english you'd be krauts. If it wasn't for the english you'd be krauts. If it wasn't for the english, wasn't for the english, wasn't for the english, you'd be krauts.
RULE BRITANNIA! BRITANNIA RULES THE WAVES! BRITONS NEVER EVER EVER WILL BE SLAVES!
sigh I digress, just couldn't help myself there, it's just nice and ironic that firstly england is playing in german and secondly they are spending alot of time reminding english fans what they can and cannot do in germany. Clearly I think Germany is just expecting to end up playing England and after the mess that they will have to clean up with Poland they are trying to shed away the violence.
In other news we are talking about group B, and well I guess I should get going on that one. So here's go another hopefully predictable post, that predicts correctly.
England aka Embrace the world by starting a riot
Ah the english, well time to see how well they fail again this year, with the absence of Owen and Rooney, or the fact that they won't be 100% yet, Sven is going to have to rely on lanky, Darko like Peter Crouch to score the goals, unless he moves Gerrard up which is specualted. Anyways anyway you look at it, the England team looks solid. With pylons like Rio and Sol at the back, it will take more than a truck to move them out. And yes expect to see the English in either a 5-4-1 or a 4-5-1, so basically Italy soccer at it's finest. I"m pretty sure right about now I've offended everyone that could possibly be reading this post. So I'll just stop right there and say, well the English are good, but they will find a way to screw up, may the soccer riots prevail.
Paraguay aka Hoping for Santa to be okay
Ummm, yes, injuries to your star striker, that seems to be a regular thing in this group, and in Paraguay's point of view they are no exception to the problem. Hopefully Santa Cruz will be ready, and not having knee troubles like he has been lately. Though the Paraguain's did qualify in 4th place in the always tough South American tryouts, don't expect too much from this team with out there star striker, they could sneak a win over England or Sweden, but otherwise I don't know if I can rely on them to pull up an uber upset, ah well, just glad to be there, it's not like Canada is.
Trinidad & Tobago aka it's an island party
The only team from a small island, and the smallest population to qualify for the world cup, and no Japan doesn't count, while this is great news I'm still mad at them. You ask why, simple they beat out Bahrain to qualify, all I wanted was to see Bahrain merchandise being sold for the world cup, now I'm left with TnT. Which means I must post the TNT video by AC/DC to enjoy seeing them in the world cup.
Ah now that makes me feel better, now this is the first time for them to qualify for the world cup and hopefully they can put up a good showing, I suspect they will be a bundle of nerves in there opening game, but hopefully Stern and Yorke can score a few goals so that the island nation can party like never before.
Sweden aka Sven's pocket rockets
Yes that's right, Sven is done in England and well he gets to play his home nation in the world cup, and that has never ended well for England. So luck is out and about that I shall expect to see a usual impressive performance this time around. Anyways if we have to talk about Sweden, we need to talk about Zlatan Ibrahimovic and the fact that this guy can do things with gum that I can't even do with a freaking soccer ball. Watch the said video from Nike and you will understand.
Need I say anything more, I think not, basically it's sick. The Swedes, who got beat out in Euro 2004 by the Dutch in PK's (I had to put it in somewhere), will be looking to bring there Ikea brand soccer everywhere, that means that the yellow and blue shirts will be out, and hopefully a few viking helmets as well. But yes the Swedes will be troublesome and fearsome, but well in the end, they have a few defensive liabilities to worry about first.
My Predictions
1. Sweden
2. England
3. Paraguay
4. Trinidad and Tobago
Friday, May 19, 2006
World Cup Group A
mmmm World Cup time,
Yes I've started a post with the words mmmmm, sue me if you have to, if not just remember Oprah is always watching out for our safety. But yes the World Cup is only weeks away now, the excitement is building, the rosters have been set for all the teams, and the EU is still trying to get Iran kicked out because someone forgot to tell them that the Holocaust indeed did happen.
So with the time indeed closing in, 18.5 days till kickoff it's time for me to start rolling out my predictions of who will get out of each of the groups, and hopefully if I can annoy you just enough, a little blurb on each team, maybe something funny, maybe me just mocking the country, or maybe me saying we will win the world cup.
So ahoy, here we go, Group A, the wonderful group that gets to start this whole beautiful tournament off.
Germany aka the Krauts
Yes I said it, they are just a bunch of sausages, you don't like that eh do you mr. germany. Hope of repeating former success by winning the world cup at home, I hate to say it looks to be slim. While playing Germany at home can never be called any easy thing, the sad part this time around is that other than Ballack, Lehmann and Klose, the Germans don't really have very much other talent to go around.
While on a good note, it appears the Germans are very good with time, apparently they like to work with watches and even set up a day where are the players learnt how to make watches. I'm not sure if this was just a job training exercise before they get kicked out, booed by there country for the performance and sent to the nearest watch shop factory somewhere in Asia to make watches for pennies a day.
Costa Rica aka Thank goodness we play in Concacaf
Well here we are now, they have made it to the big show. They can pretend they are as good as Mexico right about now, as they have the same record before the show starts, doesn't mean that it will last thought, probobly far from it. It all comes down to if there national hero Mr. Paulo Cesar Wanchope can continue to show his gazelle like form and put some goals in against some tough defensive teams in the group. But when in doubt they can all go back to San Jose and party the night away. Cause just making the dance a second time in a row is good enough in the eyes of Costa Rica fans.
Poland aka We are paying you for mistreating us Germany
Get your riot gear out everybody, we are in for a show, and when I mean show I mean lots of rocks, sharp objects, urine bags and maybe the ever so pretty fecal shower to add a nice personal touch. Polish fans got exactly what they wanted, which was a piece of the Germans by being placed in this group. With the fact that both sides of a history of riotting, we shall look forward to hopefully a good showing in Dortmund June 14.
Otherwise Poland put a pretty good fight up in qualifying, ending up in the second spot just one point behind England. But other than the fact that most of the team ends with the last name ski or ek or z or j, their really isn't anything special about the team. They play as a team and that's how they got out of there qualification group in second place.
Ecuador aka can we please play at home
Yes Ecuador did finish 3rd in the South American qualification, but I hate to say it, they won almost everyone of there games at home, which is way above sea level, and lost or tied just about every game away from home, minus the vicotry against Bolivia. So let me be the first to say that Ecuador is in mighty trouble trying to figure out how to play at or near sea level air.
Look for them to struggle again, even with such a weak group this time around, yes no Italy or Mexico to beat them up this time around.
Predictions for the group
Well Apparently when Germany drew the groups they somehow managed to get the easiest one.
Expect to see the following order in finishing.
1. Poland
2. Germany
3. Ecuador
4. Costa Rica
Yes I've started a post with the words mmmmm, sue me if you have to, if not just remember Oprah is always watching out for our safety. But yes the World Cup is only weeks away now, the excitement is building, the rosters have been set for all the teams, and the EU is still trying to get Iran kicked out because someone forgot to tell them that the Holocaust indeed did happen.
So with the time indeed closing in, 18.5 days till kickoff it's time for me to start rolling out my predictions of who will get out of each of the groups, and hopefully if I can annoy you just enough, a little blurb on each team, maybe something funny, maybe me just mocking the country, or maybe me saying we will win the world cup.
So ahoy, here we go, Group A, the wonderful group that gets to start this whole beautiful tournament off.
Germany aka the Krauts
Yes I said it, they are just a bunch of sausages, you don't like that eh do you mr. germany. Hope of repeating former success by winning the world cup at home, I hate to say it looks to be slim. While playing Germany at home can never be called any easy thing, the sad part this time around is that other than Ballack, Lehmann and Klose, the Germans don't really have very much other talent to go around.
While on a good note, it appears the Germans are very good with time, apparently they like to work with watches and even set up a day where are the players learnt how to make watches. I'm not sure if this was just a job training exercise before they get kicked out, booed by there country for the performance and sent to the nearest watch shop factory somewhere in Asia to make watches for pennies a day.
Costa Rica aka Thank goodness we play in Concacaf
Well here we are now, they have made it to the big show. They can pretend they are as good as Mexico right about now, as they have the same record before the show starts, doesn't mean that it will last thought, probobly far from it. It all comes down to if there national hero Mr. Paulo Cesar Wanchope can continue to show his gazelle like form and put some goals in against some tough defensive teams in the group. But when in doubt they can all go back to San Jose and party the night away. Cause just making the dance a second time in a row is good enough in the eyes of Costa Rica fans.
Poland aka We are paying you for mistreating us Germany
Get your riot gear out everybody, we are in for a show, and when I mean show I mean lots of rocks, sharp objects, urine bags and maybe the ever so pretty fecal shower to add a nice personal touch. Polish fans got exactly what they wanted, which was a piece of the Germans by being placed in this group. With the fact that both sides of a history of riotting, we shall look forward to hopefully a good showing in Dortmund June 14.
Otherwise Poland put a pretty good fight up in qualifying, ending up in the second spot just one point behind England. But other than the fact that most of the team ends with the last name ski or ek or z or j, their really isn't anything special about the team. They play as a team and that's how they got out of there qualification group in second place.
Ecuador aka can we please play at home
Yes Ecuador did finish 3rd in the South American qualification, but I hate to say it, they won almost everyone of there games at home, which is way above sea level, and lost or tied just about every game away from home, minus the vicotry against Bolivia. So let me be the first to say that Ecuador is in mighty trouble trying to figure out how to play at or near sea level air.
Look for them to struggle again, even with such a weak group this time around, yes no Italy or Mexico to beat them up this time around.
Predictions for the group
Well Apparently when Germany drew the groups they somehow managed to get the easiest one.
Expect to see the following order in finishing.
1. Poland
2. Germany
3. Ecuador
4. Costa Rica
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Real reason why Senators lost
Greetings,
To all Sens fans, I have found the reason you keep losing to teams that you shouldn't, it took a bit of research from back in the day, but I'm pretty sure I finally found out why you can't win certain playoff series. It has nothing to do with the team playing terrible defense, bad goaltending and a lack of scoring unless it's on a 5-3, and has everything to do with the political ways of Ottawa society.
So let me bring you to the attention of the real problem. It's the fact that Bob Chiarelli, who has been the mayor of Ottawa since the senators have been around, has a tendency to bet with other parties, in hopes of winning for once and taking home some free stuff to feed him and the rest of staff in Ottawa.
Exhibt A
Where it all begins, back in 1997 when the Sens for the first time in there history make the playoffs. It was a stunning moment in Sens history, but sadly it comes crashing to a halt pretty quickly. Bob Chiarelli didn't bet the farm right away, a smart move as the Senators were not expected to win the series.
But after game 4 and with the Sens still very much in the series Chiarelli called the Buffalo mayor and proposed a bet. He bet some beavertails for some chicken wings from Buffalo. This is the ultimate reason that the Sens lost in game 7. With that Chiarelli had to send some BeaverTails which are a delicious hot pastry which are smothered in toppings such as Cinnamon, Chocolate and Apple.Exhibt B
1998 comes rolling around and we are in the playoffs again, a low seed, but still in. We draw the Devils, Chiarelli smartening up from his previous bet last year doesn't bet. It's a miracle, we win, we beat the Devils, we get to move onto the next round. Well look we get the Capitals, they are a bit more beatable then the Devils should have been, Alfredsson is on fire, oh wait, Ottawa politics get in the way. This time Jean Chretien decides to make a bet with Bill Clinton. Flying the winners flag on there respective building. Well suffice to say the Senators lose and the Capitals flag goes up in Ottawa.
Exhibt C
Hey the Senators are a higher seed for once, well that clearly means are chances of winning are alot better this time around. Oh and look Bob Chiarelli goes and places a bet since we are playing the Sabres. He really wants those chicken wings, better get to work on that bet. Oh wait the Sens get swept by the Sabres, sadly Bob owes more beavertails to his friends down south. Does anyone see a slight pattern?
Exhibt D
2000 and 2001, we play the Leafs, Mel Lastman the mayor of Toronto is quite the salesman, makes Bob Chiarelli look silly attempting to sell how great his team is. So they make a bet, the Ontario rivalry builds, and frankly Ottawa loses both times. Poor Chiarelli actually has to put a Leafs jersey on while attempting to make very big decisions for the city.
Exhibt E
Well like all bets sooner or later you'll get a small payout at some point, and in 2002 it finally paid off. It's sort of like the casino, you win a small amount, entices you to play longer and in the end they get more money. Same thing with these bets, Chiarelli finally wins one and feels grand. The Senators end up beating the Flyers and therefore good old mayor Chiarelli wins some Tastykakes for his whole staff. Tastykakes are a Philadelphia snack staple available in an assortment of flavours from Butterscotch to Jelly Krimpets.
But clearly once you put your hand in the cookie jar, you just can't resist another bet. Well Chiarelli goes and bets the Leafs, you know the 3rd time is the charm, bound to win this time around. Again it's another bet with wearing a Leafs jersey, and flying the opposing teams flag on your flagpole if you lose. And the Senators lose to the Leafs and up goes the flag.
Exhibt F
Well 2003 was a quiet year, apparently the mayor in the Islanders area doesn't want to bet, we win. The Flyers one smarting from his loss the previous year doesn't look for a bet, and we win. The Devils are never a betting team, but we lose to them, and sadly can't fault Chiarelli or Ottawa politics, only at the fact that there seems to be little going on, which is basically the political term for thinking about doing something.
Exhibt G
2004 comes around, and well what can I say, another loss to the Leafs, I don't even feel like going on anymore. You have lost 3 bets to the same town, maybe it's time to change the apporach, but clearly that's not the case and again the Leaf flag goes up in Ottawa.
Exhibt H
Well this is the apparent year for the Sens to win the cup, the last hurrah, the last chance before the team will be imploded upon by a nuclear device known as you refuse to win as a team, go find a new team to play for. So we win the first round, clear as day, get throught the Lightning, slightly shaky start, but everything went smoothly in the end. Find out the Sabres are the second round opponent, okay so we have lost to them before, well maybe this is the year. I'm actually thinking pretty highly of the Sens, cause they actually played there hockey in the first round. Well just before game time I'm eating dinner, and magically who pops up on the tv screen during the news. Well none other than Bob "*%$@#)$" Chiarelli, and I'm sitting there, watching him with his Sens jersey, praying for him not to do it, don't say anything about a bet, wish the Sens well, move on with your life. And then he drops the bomb, starts to go in detail about his bet with the Buffalo mayor, and well I knew then and there, we were going to lose the series. Five games later and we are out, what a surprise.
Anyways case and point, some please remind Ottawa politicians to stop betting on the Senators, when you only have won 1 out of 8 times, you got to sooner or later think that maybe you are the reason why they lose.
In case you were all interested, poor Bob Chiarelli sure got schooled good on a prank call from a radio station in buffalo, read all about in in the link posted below
Ottawa mayor's Stanley Cup Scandal!
Alan Partridge
Okay, the man, the artist, the divine comic, none other than the fictional character known as Alan Partridge (played by Steve Coogan). Yes the Brits have known him for a long time, and only now have I've been graced by the wonderful tool know as youtube on the net, which has allowed me to see why the Brits fancy this individual so much. The Alan Partridge character has been around for a good 15 years now and next year we are going to be blessed we apparently the Alan Partridge movie. This is almost as exciting as the World Cup coming out, I think a few parties will have to be hosted in his honour. Now here are a few clips from the man, so you get why I so enjoy him, maybe you will laugh at it as much as I have, I think i've watched most of the clips 20 plus times and never really tire of them.
1994 World Cup Soccer, highlights with Alan Partridge
1994 Sporting Season
Why Archers are deceitful according to Alan
Now I don't have overly much to say, other than the fact that the Brits are genuises with there comics. See they don't beeping overplay them, they build up the character, but they don't abuse it into the ground. Hence why Alan Partridge is still funny 15 years done the road and he isn't tired and used up. It's really a simple concept that the north american music industry might like to employ to safe some of there singers from getting that quick buck, posing in playboy, and dissapearing off the face of the earth once you marry some back up dancer.
Alas look out for the world cup previews and predictions coming up becore the start of the world cup, which means 21 days!!!
Jerry Springer the OPERA
Yes the title is confusing, I'm writing a sports blog for the most part, but every once in a while something in society captures my attention. So let me start my little story, I was watching the Sens game on Saturday night (yes the one they lost, more on that some other time if I can bring making fun of Sens fan more), and well during the in between period phase, ala after Don Cherry I was looking for something to watch, and low and behold on the Bravo network is Jerry Springer, the Opera.
I'll be honest, I'm not an avid Jerry Springer fan, I'll watch it every once in a while to see what rednecked man cheated on his wife, with a fat chick or a sister or even a mother. Frankly Springer is able to find just about anything that you could possibly imagine, and even some that would never cross your mind if you thought about it for a million years.
So this is why I was staring at my tv screen watching this intently, I'm not one for musicals at all, frankly nowadays I try to stay away from them, things are staged andtry to force emotions out of you, rather than watching sports where you never really know if you team will win or lose on a certain night.
Here I was transfixed, listening to opera singers and those artists attempt to not laugh while signing something so commical and insane that I'm surprised that not one of them burst out laughing. Mind you I guess practicing the scene over and over again would knock out any funny parts of it. See again staged events. Anyways I watched and watched and watched, and really almost was tempted to miss the second period of the game watching the show.
But thankfully I reigned myself in, and had enough heart to change the channel, but I did watch more of it after the second period is done.
Now you may be asking why the world I'm talking about this, well it's pretty simple, who in the world has this genius of a mind enough to actually think of putting Jerry Springer out as a musical. Clearly I never thought it possible, and how do you write a script for that, it's like let's think of the worst possible hookups in the world of dating and put them together, and then let's find the worst possible person you can cheat in, and voila you have a scene in the movie. Also on that point, who in the world gives the money to produce this, and how do you propose this to a board of executive stiffs. Do you go with the following: Do you like redneck hillbillies who cheat on there significant others? Do you feel like more swearing is needed in the world? How about a play on religion, and especially Christanity and we can get alot of people to complain and therefore garner attention. Honestly I would have loved to be there to watch that meeting go on, but alas I didn't get a chance to be.
Anyways if you want to watch something entertaining, maybe you have a wife or a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, or a husband that loves the arts and they love watching operas and you want to make a silly point and watch something that will not really make you think but atleast it's tolerable to sit through. Go buy, rent, or wait for it's return on Bravo, cause I'm sure it's rantings went up when I started watching.
Until again I leave you with a song from the movie and a randomly spliced video of other videos and dancing, probobly best if you don't like swearing to not watch the following video.
Hup Holland
Finally
The world cup is almost near, and thankfully the teams are now being named, and with that I give my preview on the Dutch team that was named today by the great Marco Van Basten, who lead us to glory in 1988 at the Euro championships. While most names were known before today, Marco was able to delight us with a few selection and force us to wonder why he overlooked others, but that is sports, it brings to us great debates on selections, and allows us to socialize with others by talking about this. So in the grand scheme of things, sports and this selection process provide us the means to communicate with other people, which in the end can lead us to network and in general learn something.
So here's the line up
Keepers: Edwin van der Sar, Maarten Stekelenburg en Henk Timmer
No Surprise here at all, to be honest Edwin van der Sar is the leader of this team this year. The only person close to as much experience as him is Cocu, this could be his final world cup and the last time he will be able to lead the Oranje, he has all the skills and experience necessary to bring this team. Henk Timmer has been the shadows for a while, and maybe he will get his chance soon enough, for now him and Stekelenburg will just have to learn from the savy veteran, with the way he keeps his defensemen in order.
Defenders: Khalid Boulahrouz, Giovanni van Bronckhorst, Tim de Cler, Johnny Heitinga, Kew Jaliens, Jan Kromkamp, Joris Mathijsen en André Ooijer
Barry Opdam might be just about the most notable selection left off this roster, to be honest I was very surprised, he proved himself for the national team with the way he played in the qualifying round, and it was a bitter blow to him that he didn't make it. At the same time though he is an extremely small centerback and with playing the big Serbs, and having to be able to contain Drogba, Van Basten seems to have thought that the big his defense the better. He at one point had attempted to even pursue and get Jaap Stam back (yes that Jaap, you penalty kick misser). So I see his logic, but at the same time I don't understand why he picked Mathijsen or de Cler, they have done very little for the national team and were the surprise choices of this group. Look for a back four that consists of Gio, Boulahrouz, Heitinga and Kromkamp.
Midfielders: Mark van Bommel, Phillip Cocu, Denny Landzaat, Hedwiges Maduro, Wesley Sneijder en Rafael van der Vaart
Well no real surprises here, other than the fact that Davids was kept off the team. Mind you that's probobly for the better in the end, he's a very talented player, but has caused a few tiffs with the team. Hopefully van der Vaart will be fit enough in time for the world cup. To some it was a surprise to see Landzaat on the squad, but his ability to play well during the qualification stage and his ball movement made him an easy selection. If the Dutch have a strength it's going to be the play of there midfielders, they have the ability to place and of the 6 guys in there and have them move the ball around without a problem. Look for the start 3 at midfield to be Cocu, van der Vaart and van Bommel.
Forwards: Ryan Babel , Dirk Kuyt, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Robin van Persie, Arjen Robben en Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink
No Klaas Jan Huntelaar, after so much speculation that he was going to get a spot over the greatest last name in sports; Vennegoor of Hesselink. Also the fact that Babel got picked over McKay was a surprise, but in the end it should have been expected. Realistically you now have 3 to 4 guys that can play the wing in : Babel, van Persie, Robben and Kuyt. You also have your two bangers as I like to call them (Ruud and Vennegoor of Hesselink). Expect to see a starting line up of Kuyt and Robben on the wings with Ruud in the middle. Around the 70th minute you will probobly see either van Persie or Hesselink, depending on what the Dutch need at the time. I do like the Babel pick, not only will it allow him to gain some experience, he may just crack the lineup in the end. There has been a lot of talk from people that he is the next big Dutch superstar and if anything he may just break out like Robben did at Euro 2004.In closing right now, I'm very happy with the squad, lots of youth, with just enough veteran talent to keep everyone on track and go for the goal of winnning the world cup. Van Basten has put all his cards on the table with going with a youth lineup, and if it doesn't work he will be the one to take the blame, but so far he hasn't done badly and I will continue to agree that he is going in the right direction. Actually seeing smiles on the faces of all Dutch players in training camp is quite the accomplishment, hopeful they can play as a team and show the world what total football is all about.
Hup Holland
Friday, May 12, 2006
The Patrolling Force
Howdy,
Well time to get this blog going, I avoided doing this at one point in my life, but being the young grasshopper that I am, i've become greedy and decided that if people do read this it's for their own good, maybe they will pick something out of interest with what I write. If not, I don't really want to hear about it at all, this is like Allan Iverson and practice, I'm not going to sit here talking about my blog sucking, this doesn't help me or my blog and doesn't help anyone in the long run.
Here I am, patrolling the right from wrong, right near the iberian border, well I lie about that, but frankly I guess I should post at why I chose the name iberian border hup, when this has very little to do with any borders. Firstly the iberian is from the grassroots of my life in university, if it wasn't for two certain roommates I wouldn't be as knowledgable in some sports as I would have liked to be, and vice versa. As I see fit one lived in the iberian area, and the other one uses the iberian reference way too often. Secondly the Hup, which in Holland means Go, very simply concept, I'm a Dutch soccer enthuist and frankly anytime I say Hup it's usually followed by Holland. I just like the word and it drives me to learn Dutch so maybe one day I can past one of those blantly hard immigrations tests in Nederland. Finally the Border comes simply from the fact that I am Canadian and share the longest border with the States, they seem to have a sense that they need to put a border patrol everywhere, while Canadians are a little pessismistic towards the idea. So there you go, that's the last time I will mention why I named this blog the way I did, maybe it will change, but for now I kind of like it.
Okay Sens Talk
Cause really I doubt I will make another post in time to talk about them again this year. Yes I'm not a Senators fan, doesn't mean I won't cheer for them when they play against certain teams, but it's vice versa when they play teams I like.
Well let's begin, with the usual plot line, Ottawa is favored to win series, Ottawa finds way to screw up and lose... that's the basic premise of what the Senators do in the playoffs. Now there is a couple of reasons for that, and I'm not going to harp on specific players, oh wait I may have too.
Firstly: 9 years, 4 times you were favored to win the conference, and yet you still haven't managed to get out of it, frankly for a second there I thought we had a Babe Ruth curse in Ottawa, but then what history do we have where we could possibly have a curse, it's not like Ottawa has ever traded any big name player away (Hossa doesn't count, you got value in return).
Secondly: Watching them play this second round, is like attempting to watch Spain play offensive soccer, for some reason someone told them they were on national tv, or that the whole country was behind them. What happened to spreading yourselves out, getting traffic in on net, passing the puck on the proper stick. It's playoff hockey, not the cirque du soleil, stop making those stupid behind the puck passes. Don't come down the ice in a straight line, then decided to bunch up where any border patrol member could snare the whole lot of you with a freaking net.
Thirdly: Traffic in front of the net, it's been a problem forever and it continues to be a problem, get in front of the freaking net, create havoc, create traffic, it's like Neal needs to be pissed off at the goalie to get in front of the net. I don't understand it and never will understand it.
Anyways I could rant on for a while, but I choose not to, on the basic premise that in about 24 hours the team will be out of the playoffs and done for and I can hear all the whining about how if Hasek was ready the cup would be Ottawa's. Frankly that's not going to happen in the next 25 years so why worry about it, more on this later.
World Cup 2006
Oh yes it's that wonderful time, only 26 more days till I cut away from doing any substantial work and spend my time in front of a tv, watching the greatest tournament on the face of the planet. I'm pretty sure that I'll be drinking beer, watching soccer, eating a sausage, wondering when and were the Germans will lose and be out of the tournament.
Yes the lineups are slowing coming out for all 32 teams in the tournament, and the Dutch have a few choices to make, they are busy at there training camp right now, and it shall be interesting to see who makes in onto the final 23 man roster. I'll write alot more on this later, hopefully I'll blog the tournament as I watch it for anyone to read my thoughts during some praticularly tough times in my life.
Around enemy lines
Firstly I have to get this out of my system, whatever crazy whacko came up with the idea that OJ Simpson should have a one hour episode called Juiced, where he goes pretending to punk random strangers, is a complete genius. I may actually pay to watch that episode, only for the fact I was to see him hustle selling a Bronco to some poor stranger.
You're with me Leather: Yes the reference of the year, congrats Chris Berman on deciding to more than likely cheat on your wife, unless your relationship is alot like AK47 and his wife, then I understand you were just using your get laid once a year pass. But I will give you credit, solid pick up line there, I swear if I ever see a girl dressed in all leather and I'm some famous sportsbroadcaster, I will go and use that line, I'll even by the shirt and have it all lined up so the girl knows I'm going to be saying that line to her.
Bob Cole and Harry Neale: Enough is enough, i'm tempted to spend a game writing there ridiculous comments down. I know announcing is a tough job, no worries I do it at the university level, but frankly it's getting a bit ridiculous already, I can't stand listening to them say the same things all the time, or frankly mess up the names every few minutes and then figure to move on and not apologize for saying the wrong person, when in the world did Spezza look like Chara, or anything near Chara, that's a name you should never ever ever mess up. But well then they are becoming old and senile and being placed on the 4th level of the Scotiabank place ain't helping there cause to see who is who.
Paris Hilton: Enough already, get off the bandwagon, stop talking about her, let her crawl back into her hotel room, and let her pick up the latest STD on the market, or for that matter help her spread some more around for the rest of the famous people to pick them up, but stop mentioning her, no one cares, no one wishes to know, and for the most part it's better if we spend as much time as possible away from her, oh wait I'll shut up now.
Final Notes:
-Reminder NBA playoffs are on, get your game face on Clippers, or Steve Nash is going to bitch slap you like it's his draft day photo
-NHL playoffs, the ongoing animal circus continues, yes I'm thinking we will have a Duck, a Shark, a Sabres and well mix in a weather pattern with the Hurricane
-Baseball, it's pink bat weekend, maybe the whole time A-Rod might actually feel comfortable about himself in the batter's box, pink dildo anyone?
-CFL, only a matter of time when marijuana is the way to sign players... hey Ricky did you hear that.
-The more times drunken broadcasters are put on air the better, let them talk, it makes baseball more interesting for Padres fans
-It's okay Jacques Villeneuve, some people just hate you enough that they drop your engine so that you can look bad too everyone, or maybe it's just they know your going to blow up your engine anyways so they took the time to ruin it for you before the race
That's it for now, border patrolling it since I became a fetus
Well time to get this blog going, I avoided doing this at one point in my life, but being the young grasshopper that I am, i've become greedy and decided that if people do read this it's for their own good, maybe they will pick something out of interest with what I write. If not, I don't really want to hear about it at all, this is like Allan Iverson and practice, I'm not going to sit here talking about my blog sucking, this doesn't help me or my blog and doesn't help anyone in the long run.
Here I am, patrolling the right from wrong, right near the iberian border, well I lie about that, but frankly I guess I should post at why I chose the name iberian border hup, when this has very little to do with any borders. Firstly the iberian is from the grassroots of my life in university, if it wasn't for two certain roommates I wouldn't be as knowledgable in some sports as I would have liked to be, and vice versa. As I see fit one lived in the iberian area, and the other one uses the iberian reference way too often. Secondly the Hup, which in Holland means Go, very simply concept, I'm a Dutch soccer enthuist and frankly anytime I say Hup it's usually followed by Holland. I just like the word and it drives me to learn Dutch so maybe one day I can past one of those blantly hard immigrations tests in Nederland. Finally the Border comes simply from the fact that I am Canadian and share the longest border with the States, they seem to have a sense that they need to put a border patrol everywhere, while Canadians are a little pessismistic towards the idea. So there you go, that's the last time I will mention why I named this blog the way I did, maybe it will change, but for now I kind of like it.
Okay Sens Talk
Cause really I doubt I will make another post in time to talk about them again this year. Yes I'm not a Senators fan, doesn't mean I won't cheer for them when they play against certain teams, but it's vice versa when they play teams I like.
Well let's begin, with the usual plot line, Ottawa is favored to win series, Ottawa finds way to screw up and lose... that's the basic premise of what the Senators do in the playoffs. Now there is a couple of reasons for that, and I'm not going to harp on specific players, oh wait I may have too.
Firstly: 9 years, 4 times you were favored to win the conference, and yet you still haven't managed to get out of it, frankly for a second there I thought we had a Babe Ruth curse in Ottawa, but then what history do we have where we could possibly have a curse, it's not like Ottawa has ever traded any big name player away (Hossa doesn't count, you got value in return).
Secondly: Watching them play this second round, is like attempting to watch Spain play offensive soccer, for some reason someone told them they were on national tv, or that the whole country was behind them. What happened to spreading yourselves out, getting traffic in on net, passing the puck on the proper stick. It's playoff hockey, not the cirque du soleil, stop making those stupid behind the puck passes. Don't come down the ice in a straight line, then decided to bunch up where any border patrol member could snare the whole lot of you with a freaking net.
Thirdly: Traffic in front of the net, it's been a problem forever and it continues to be a problem, get in front of the freaking net, create havoc, create traffic, it's like Neal needs to be pissed off at the goalie to get in front of the net. I don't understand it and never will understand it.
Anyways I could rant on for a while, but I choose not to, on the basic premise that in about 24 hours the team will be out of the playoffs and done for and I can hear all the whining about how if Hasek was ready the cup would be Ottawa's. Frankly that's not going to happen in the next 25 years so why worry about it, more on this later.
World Cup 2006
Oh yes it's that wonderful time, only 26 more days till I cut away from doing any substantial work and spend my time in front of a tv, watching the greatest tournament on the face of the planet. I'm pretty sure that I'll be drinking beer, watching soccer, eating a sausage, wondering when and were the Germans will lose and be out of the tournament.
Yes the lineups are slowing coming out for all 32 teams in the tournament, and the Dutch have a few choices to make, they are busy at there training camp right now, and it shall be interesting to see who makes in onto the final 23 man roster. I'll write alot more on this later, hopefully I'll blog the tournament as I watch it for anyone to read my thoughts during some praticularly tough times in my life.
Around enemy lines
Firstly I have to get this out of my system, whatever crazy whacko came up with the idea that OJ Simpson should have a one hour episode called Juiced, where he goes pretending to punk random strangers, is a complete genius. I may actually pay to watch that episode, only for the fact I was to see him hustle selling a Bronco to some poor stranger.
You're with me Leather: Yes the reference of the year, congrats Chris Berman on deciding to more than likely cheat on your wife, unless your relationship is alot like AK47 and his wife, then I understand you were just using your get laid once a year pass. But I will give you credit, solid pick up line there, I swear if I ever see a girl dressed in all leather and I'm some famous sportsbroadcaster, I will go and use that line, I'll even by the shirt and have it all lined up so the girl knows I'm going to be saying that line to her.
Bob Cole and Harry Neale: Enough is enough, i'm tempted to spend a game writing there ridiculous comments down. I know announcing is a tough job, no worries I do it at the university level, but frankly it's getting a bit ridiculous already, I can't stand listening to them say the same things all the time, or frankly mess up the names every few minutes and then figure to move on and not apologize for saying the wrong person, when in the world did Spezza look like Chara, or anything near Chara, that's a name you should never ever ever mess up. But well then they are becoming old and senile and being placed on the 4th level of the Scotiabank place ain't helping there cause to see who is who.
Paris Hilton: Enough already, get off the bandwagon, stop talking about her, let her crawl back into her hotel room, and let her pick up the latest STD on the market, or for that matter help her spread some more around for the rest of the famous people to pick them up, but stop mentioning her, no one cares, no one wishes to know, and for the most part it's better if we spend as much time as possible away from her, oh wait I'll shut up now.
Final Notes:
-Reminder NBA playoffs are on, get your game face on Clippers, or Steve Nash is going to bitch slap you like it's his draft day photo
-NHL playoffs, the ongoing animal circus continues, yes I'm thinking we will have a Duck, a Shark, a Sabres and well mix in a weather pattern with the Hurricane
-Baseball, it's pink bat weekend, maybe the whole time A-Rod might actually feel comfortable about himself in the batter's box, pink dildo anyone?
-CFL, only a matter of time when marijuana is the way to sign players... hey Ricky did you hear that.
-The more times drunken broadcasters are put on air the better, let them talk, it makes baseball more interesting for Padres fans
-It's okay Jacques Villeneuve, some people just hate you enough that they drop your engine so that you can look bad too everyone, or maybe it's just they know your going to blow up your engine anyways so they took the time to ruin it for you before the race
That's it for now, border patrolling it since I became a fetus
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