The Patrolling Force

Howdy,

Well time to get this blog going, I avoided doing this at one point in my life, but being the young grasshopper that I am, i've become greedy and decided that if people do read this it's for their own good, maybe they will pick something out of interest with what I write. If not, I don't really want to hear about it at all, this is like Allan Iverson and practice, I'm not going to sit here talking about my blog sucking, this doesn't help me or my blog and doesn't help anyone in the long run.

Here I am, patrolling the right from wrong, right near the iberian border, well I lie about that, but frankly I guess I should post at why I chose the name iberian border hup, when this has very little to do with any borders. Firstly the iberian is from the grassroots of my life in university, if it wasn't for two certain roommates I wouldn't be as knowledgable in some sports as I would have liked to be, and vice versa. As I see fit one lived in the iberian area, and the other one uses the iberian reference way too often. Secondly the Hup, which in Holland means Go, very simply concept, I'm a Dutch soccer enthuist and frankly anytime I say Hup it's usually followed by Holland. I just like the word and it drives me to learn Dutch so maybe one day I can past one of those blantly hard immigrations tests in Nederland. Finally the Border comes simply from the fact that I am Canadian and share the longest border with the States, they seem to have a sense that they need to put a border patrol everywhere, while Canadians are a little pessismistic towards the idea. So there you go, that's the last time I will mention why I named this blog the way I did, maybe it will change, but for now I kind of like it.

Okay Sens Talk

Cause really I doubt I will make another post in time to talk about them again this year. Yes I'm not a Senators fan, doesn't mean I won't cheer for them when they play against certain teams, but it's vice versa when they play teams I like.

Well let's begin, with the usual plot line, Ottawa is favored to win series, Ottawa finds way to screw up and lose... that's the basic premise of what the Senators do in the playoffs. Now there is a couple of reasons for that, and I'm not going to harp on specific players, oh wait I may have too.

Firstly: 9 years, 4 times you were favored to win the conference, and yet you still haven't managed to get out of it, frankly for a second there I thought we had a Babe Ruth curse in Ottawa, but then what history do we have where we could possibly have a curse, it's not like Ottawa has ever traded any big name player away (Hossa doesn't count, you got value in return).
Secondly: Watching them play this second round, is like attempting to watch Spain play offensive soccer, for some reason someone told them they were on national tv, or that the whole country was behind them. What happened to spreading yourselves out, getting traffic in on net, passing the puck on the proper stick. It's playoff hockey, not the cirque du soleil, stop making those stupid behind the puck passes. Don't come down the ice in a straight line, then decided to bunch up where any border patrol member could snare the whole lot of you with a freaking net.
Thirdly: Traffic in front of the net, it's been a problem forever and it continues to be a problem, get in front of the freaking net, create havoc, create traffic, it's like Neal needs to be pissed off at the goalie to get in front of the net. I don't understand it and never will understand it.

Anyways I could rant on for a while, but I choose not to, on the basic premise that in about 24 hours the team will be out of the playoffs and done for and I can hear all the whining about how if Hasek was ready the cup would be Ottawa's. Frankly that's not going to happen in the next 25 years so why worry about it, more on this later.

World Cup 2006
Oh yes it's that wonderful time, only 26 more days till I cut away from doing any substantial work and spend my time in front of a tv, watching the greatest tournament on the face of the planet. I'm pretty sure that I'll be drinking beer, watching soccer, eating a sausage, wondering when and were the Germans will lose and be out of the tournament.

Yes the lineups are slowing coming out for all 32 teams in the tournament, and the Dutch have a few choices to make, they are busy at there training camp right now, and it shall be interesting to see who makes in onto the final 23 man roster. I'll write alot more on this later, hopefully I'll blog the tournament as I watch it for anyone to read my thoughts during some praticularly tough times in my life.

Around enemy lines
Firstly I have to get this out of my system, whatever crazy whacko came up with the idea that OJ Simpson should have a one hour episode called Juiced, where he goes pretending to punk random strangers, is a complete genius. I may actually pay to watch that episode, only for the fact I was to see him hustle selling a Bronco to some poor stranger.
You're with me Leather: Yes the reference of the year, congrats Chris Berman on deciding to more than likely cheat on your wife, unless your relationship is alot like AK47 and his wife, then I understand you were just using your get laid once a year pass. But I will give you credit, solid pick up line there, I swear if I ever see a girl dressed in all leather and I'm some famous sportsbroadcaster, I will go and use that line, I'll even by the shirt and have it all lined up so the girl knows I'm going to be saying that line to her.
Bob Cole and Harry Neale: Enough is enough, i'm tempted to spend a game writing there ridiculous comments down. I know announcing is a tough job, no worries I do it at the university level, but frankly it's getting a bit ridiculous already, I can't stand listening to them say the same things all the time, or frankly mess up the names every few minutes and then figure to move on and not apologize for saying the wrong person, when in the world did Spezza look like Chara, or anything near Chara, that's a name you should never ever ever mess up. But well then they are becoming old and senile and being placed on the 4th level of the Scotiabank place ain't helping there cause to see who is who.
Paris Hilton: Enough already, get off the bandwagon, stop talking about her, let her crawl back into her hotel room, and let her pick up the latest STD on the market, or for that matter help her spread some more around for the rest of the famous people to pick them up, but stop mentioning her, no one cares, no one wishes to know, and for the most part it's better if we spend as much time as possible away from her, oh wait I'll shut up now.


Final Notes:
-Reminder NBA playoffs are on, get your game face on Clippers, or Steve Nash is going to bitch slap you like it's his draft day photo
-NHL playoffs, the ongoing animal circus continues, yes I'm thinking we will have a Duck, a Shark, a Sabres and well mix in a weather pattern with the Hurricane
-Baseball, it's pink bat weekend, maybe the whole time A-Rod might actually feel comfortable about himself in the batter's box, pink dildo anyone?
-CFL, only a matter of time when marijuana is the way to sign players... hey Ricky did you hear that.
-The more times drunken broadcasters are put on air the better, let them talk, it makes baseball more interesting for Padres fans
-It's okay Jacques Villeneuve, some people just hate you enough that they drop your engine so that you can look bad too everyone, or maybe it's just they know your going to blow up your engine anyways so they took the time to ruin it for you before the race

That's it for now, border patrolling it since I became a fetus