Ah Group D where we are sure to find free condoms and a few machetes at the world cup and as always a few expectations that will collapse to the grounds, faster then I can say You're with me Leather. Group D is full of surprises and epic failures, you have Mexico, Portugal, Iran and that little African nation known as Angola, which by the way have the best flap of the world cup. Any flag that can have the following descripition will automatically win in my books: "A golden star, part of a cog wheel and a machete is centered. That symbol is said to be inspired by the hammer and sickle, and represents industrial and agricultural workers. Yellow is symbolic of the country's mineral wealth, and red and black are said to stand for "Freedom or Death". With this is mind, let's go and see what each country has too offer, will they all fight for freedom, or will they all mess up and die and have another epic failure.
Angola aka Colonizational Revenge
Yup that's right, after beating out Nigeria to qualify for the world cup, they've managed to get into the perfect group for themselves, they get to go after those slavery pundits from Portugal. Sure Angola was colonized by Portugal when Portugal actually had land and the sea (now they are just stuck surrounded by Spain). But you need to remember that people don't forget who was in charge of them previously, it's alot like Darko playing the Pistons, sure they screwed him over and he might not become as good as everyone first thought, but it doesn't mean his A game is brought to them when he does play them. So this is why the June 11th match of Portugal vs Angola is a biggie, considering that Angola is playing in one of the weaker groups. Yes Portugal and Mexico are top quality football programs, they do have a tendency to start really slow, eh Portugal, must I remind you of greece.Akwa and Mantorras will be expected to put the ball in the goal, and it will needed to be done often with the way the Angolian defense has been playing lately. Yes you beat a bunch of German stiffs 5-3, reminder you still let in 3 goals, ah well I just can't wait to watch them play.
Iran aka nuclear warfare tactics
Have they been kicked out of the tournament yet, I just keeping waiting for it to happen, considering a bunch of UEFA teams have been trying really hard to get rid of them. Also don't expect and Red Light district for these boys, they won't be seeing and woman flesh until they find a way to make it to Canada and get through the easy immigration laws. Yes that's right I said it, Canadian immigration is pretty lax, but so is gaining diplomatic immunity as well and since i'm feeling really good right now, so is making the bomb, or nuclear weapons, everyone has such great success with it, too bad they are useless since no one will use them anytime soon. As for the Iran soccer team they will be busy attempting to survive the rigors of playing without woman, or more for the fact trying not to choke on any large objects at the world cup. Okay so they've won the Asian Cup a number of times, and were first in their division to qualify for the worldcup, but we all know that when they come to this tournament they get beaten up like a Saudi Arabian sidekick. Yes expect to see a couple 5-0 games when they play, may I mention that it won't be them doing the scoring.
Mexico aka the maya empire
Ah bring on the Mexicans and all the dirty mexican jokes that come with it. If I lived in the States i could use the whole immigration problem, but frankly it's not a problem here in Canada, we invite everyone in to take over our jobs, our schools and just about anything that no one wishes to work except garbage men, they always seem to be white. Now I disgress to soccer, the Mexicans have played alot of friendlies lately, and only have lost recently to France in a 1-0 dull affair somewhere in Paris. But really this Mexican team seems to enjoy 1-0 affairs, as they don't really have that much scoring power, while they do have the powerhouse in Borgetti, they do not have much else which may be a problem for them later on in rounds. As for the opening round, getting by 1-0 each game should work. It will be an interesting match when they play Portugal as that will probobly decide who plays the winner of Group C and second place of Group C.
Portugal aka long greasy slave trading hair
Ah yes, the Portuguese people, wonderful folk, wonderful at soccer, wonderful at blowing up in a world cup and not getting out of the first round. Yes those guys, the USA is all dissapointed that they don't get to play them, like they did 4 years ago. But that's a whole other world cup and story. Portugal for the last 16 years, have been thought as a team that could go a long way, with the golden years almost behind them now, Figo, Pauleta and Ricardo all getting long in the tooth, the expectation is that this may be the last run for the boys. With the success of Euro 2004 and a very good qualifying effort, it could be expected that this may be there best chance yet to host the trophy in Munich, but then again when has Portugal ever made things easy for themselves, they had a chance to win Euro, and managed to blow it to Greece, twice. Anyways, expect to see there open offensive style of football at this worldcup, I pray to god that Deco doesn't destroy the Dutch hopes in the second round, or I may just lose it and remove all the furniture out of my room, through the window.
I leave you now with what many think is the greatest soccer ref of all time, sometimes I can't agree more
And just for entertainment purposes, this is what happens in a Portuguese soccer dressing room.
Predictions
1. Portugal
2. Mexico
3. Angola
4. Iran
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